For a lucid, free and just life — and, hopefully, a more fulfilling one
Written on 11 May 2025
This text is neither a truth nor a dogmatic manifesto. It is the imprint of a moment: the product of my experience, my reading, and my physical, emotional and psychological state. I am a mind under construction, with everything still to learn. What I write here is meant to evolve — as I do.
Preamble
I reject mental prisons and ready-made ideological labels.
I want to think with nuance, rigour and honesty.
I prefer complexity to comfort, and doubt to illusion.
I want to live freely, in accordance with my deepest values, and contribute to a world that is fairer, more conscious and more dignified.
I believe freedom begins within oneself, but does not end there. It reaches out towards the world, towards others and towards the future.
1. I am responsible
I will not evade responsibility. Even in chaos, I remain the author of my actions and a co-creator of my world.
Freedom cannot simply be declared: it must be cultivated.
I refuse to hide behind my pain, my past or the system.
I take responsibility for each of my actions and their consequences, and I aspire to make choices that are consistent with my convictions.
2. I live with depression, and I keep moving forward
I am not well, and I acknowledge it. My light often flickers.
I live with depression — it is not a weakness, but a fact. A weight, a fog, a struggle.
But I am not reducible to it. Even through fatigue, emptiness or shame, I look for a way forward.
These cycles will keep returning — they are the sine wave of my being.
I am learning to accept and tame them, so that they may always tend a little further upwards.
I want the curve, however broken, gradually to trace an upward slope towards peace — towards a life that feels more alive and more fulfilling.
3. I am on my way
I still have very few answers. I read, listen, write, doubt, fall — and get back up.
Above all, I get back up. I must keep going. And if I am to fail, I will do so without lying to reassure myself.
I am still far from fully embodying all of this. I have everything left to do, learn and change.
But this path is my wish, my direction and my struggle.
4. I love — and sometimes lose my footing
Love moves through me and sometimes overwhelms me. It is a fire, a light and a fault line.
I know the nights of waiting, the spirals and the cruel stories imagined by the mind.
I want to love without possessing, yet I know the bite of jealousy.
It prowls. I confront it and look at it directly, so that it does not betray love itself.
I want no chains, either for myself or for the other person.
And yet… she would be mine if I clipped her wings. She would not leave.
But then she would no longer be a bird. And it is the bird that I love.
So I refuse to let fear become my guide, and I am learning to dance with it without letting it swallow me.
I want love to remain an offering, not a possession.
I want to love without dominating, as neither guard dog nor martyr.
I want to love freely without dissolving myself — and to be loved for who I am.
5. I believe the personal is political
My pain is not a private weakness: it says something about the world.
Many others carry an echo of what I feel — wandering souls burdened by similar weights.
These wounds are the fruits of a sick world, deep social constructions and systemic harms absorbed from childhood.
I do not want to separate my inner struggles from my outward commitments.
What I experience in the flesh is also material for reflection and action.
We cannot build a fairer world with disintegrated souls.
6. I want to understand in order to be free
I am not trying to “be right”; I am trying to see clearly.
I bow to no official truth. I question, cross-check and doubt.
I believe freedom comes through knowing causes, not through blind faith or herd-like adherence.
Awakening is a daily effort — through knowledge, philosophy, lucidity and self-questioning.
7. I refuse to be a product
I am not data, a cog or a role to be filled.
I am a sensitive, thinking and free being.
I do not want to live merely to consume, perform or maintain appearances.
I want to love, create, explore and pass things on.
I want to be seen as a living soul, not as a box to be ticked.
8. I am anti-capitalist without wanting dependency, and anti-conformist without being conspiratorial
I reject a system that turns everything into merchandise and alienates bodies, minds and lives.
But I refuse to depend upon a new paternalistic order, even a supposedly “social” one.
I do not want to exchange domination for dependency.
I believe in demanding emancipation, not infantilising care.
I reject modern conformity and pre-packaged truths.
But I will not sink into sterile paranoia.
My non-conformism is lucid and informed, critical yet rational.
9. I reject authoritarianism, but respect a just order
I want neither a sacred leader nor an idolised people.
I despise concentrated power, whether governmental, religious, economic or media-based.
I reject systems founded upon fear, contempt or dogma.
But I believe in a form of legitimate authority: one grounded in competence, ethics and humility.
I want power to be shared, deliberated and radically rooted in the common good — power that elevates rather than crushes.
10. I am in revolt, but not in hatred
I struggle against what destroys humanity: absurdity, greed, domination and resignation.
I do not want merely to reform injustice; I want to uproot it.
My revolt is radical: sometimes gentle, often direct, and violent if necessary — not from desire, but from vital necessity.
Yet my revolt is ethical, loving and radically alive.
It seeks transformation, not revenge.
I do not want to destroy; I want to repair.
I do not want to punish; I want to heal.
11. I believe in collective emancipation
I believe neither in a saviour nor in one decisive revolutionary day.
I believe in a shared awakening: slow, laborious, imperfect, but real.
Democracy must be reinvented — not as ritual, but as responsible engagement.
I have faith in the intelligence of people, provided they are given the tools to think, debate and decide.
12. My struggles
- Against economic exploitation, dispossession and symbolic domination.
- Against cultivated ignorance, voluntary alienation and deceptive comfort.
- Against moral, political and cultural authoritarianism — and intellectual terrorism.
- Against depression, which distances me from myself.
- Against jealousy, in defence of a free, living and trusting love.
- For free thought that is awake and rooted in reality.
- For a society that is more dignified, lucid and humane.
- For love — in its purest, selfless and non-possessive sense.
13. My influences
- Spinoza, for the love of causes and an ethics rooted in reality.
- Sartre, for commitment, responsibility and the acceptance of absurdity.
- Camus, for lucid revolt and human dignity.
- Gramsci and Bourdieu, for their critique of invisible power and their concern for popular education.
- Montaigne, for humility, wisdom and friendship.
- Marcuse and Chomsky, for their radical critique of modern capitalism.
- Étienne Chouard, for direct democracy and citizen autonomy.
- Plato, Epicurus and Socrates, for the pursuit of truth, moderation and the art of dialogue.
- Idriss Aberkane, for intuition, open knowledge and systematic questioning.
Julien E. — May 2025
Somewhere between philosophy, poetry, revolt and hope.
Between the fault line and thought, between the heart and anger.
Between what moves through me — and what I want to transform.

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